The holiday season is synonymous with joy and sharing, but it can also be a challenging time for those living with infertility. Between family gatherings, unexpected pregnancy announcements, and sometimes awkward questions, this festive season can be particularly stressful and bring up complex and intense emotions.
However, it is possible to navigate this period with greater serenity by adopting an approach tailored to your needs. Here are some tips to maintain your well-being and enjoy this unique time with more peace.
1. Embrace your feelings without judgment and express your emotions
While the holiday season often symbolizes joy and wonder, it is normal for those facing infertility to experience emotions that may seem contradictory. Feeling sadness or envy towards expecting parents at a family gathering are good examples. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.
Openly discuss your feelings and expectations with your partner. Putting your emotions into words and listening to theirs fosters better mutual understanding. Together, you can navigate this period that may sometimes feel challenging.
2. Set boundaries
It is important to respect your own needs. If certain events or conversations feel overwhelming, do not hesitate to decline invitations or limit your presence. Allow yourself to leave family gatherings or events that trigger painful emotions. Taking care of yourself is an act of self-kindness.
3. Prepare appropriate responses
Although often well-meaning, questions about your family situation and unsolicited advice can be hurtful for those dealing with infertility. Calmly explain what this period means to you. By sharing your boundaries and wishes, you help your loved ones better understand your choices and adjust their behavior.
You can think of alternative conversation topics or prepare simple and short responses, such as:
- “We’re taking it one day at a time.”
- “Thank you for your concern, but it’s a subject I’d prefer to avoid today.”
This can help you feel more in control in such situations.
To avoid feeling alone during reunions, confide in a trusted person in your family. Sharing your concerns beforehand can help find solutions to enjoy the holidays while respecting everyone’s needs.
4. Create your own traditions
If traditional holidays evoke feelings of loss, reinvent this time according to your desires. Organize an intimate dinner, take a trip, or have a cozy night watching your favorite Christmas movies.
5. Take care of yourself
Your well-being is a priority! Take the time to reflect on the type of support you need and treat yourself to moments of relaxation, alone or as a couple: cuddling, massage, meditation, breathing exercises, mindfulness, nature walks, reading, or any activity that brings you comfort and peace. Enjoy small joys and rediscover what makes you happy.
6. Seek support
Do not face your emotions alone. Talk to a trusted person: a friend, family member, or a specialized professional. Surrounding yourself with empathetic and understanding people who recognize your journey can make all the difference.
You could also join a support group through social media and connect with people dealing with similar concerns.
For those who feel the need, consulting a mental health professional familiar with infertility-related issues can provide tools to better manage the stress associated with this time of year.
There is no magic solution for coping with infertility challenges during the festive season. Each journey, each story is unique. Choose what works best for you and, above all, listen to your needs.
These tips are brought to you by Dr. Stéphanie Goron, a psychologist specializing in perinatal care and collaborator at the Miacleo clinic.